intelligence

You Are Now 75% More Likely to Get Shot at the Airport

The Baby Who Shot MeThe New York Times reported on Friday the startling trend of Transportation Security Agency agents finding more and more guns in airline passengers’ carry-on luggage. They’re on pace to have unpacked 1500 guns by the end of the year, a 75% increase since 2010. Even more chilling is what the Agency suspects is behind the rise. The guns aren’t being carried by would-be terrorists but, frighteningly, by garden variety, Whopper-loving, all-American nitwits.

Yes, in yet another sign of the Springfieldization of the USA, heat-packing citizen morons are just plum forgettin’ about the semi-automatic weapons in their roll-aboards. And I’m being generous by calling these boneheads “morons,” “nitwits,” and “boneheads,” because of the 47 guns the TSA found in carry-on luggage during the week ending Sept. 20, 81% were loaded and 13% had a round in the chamber, ready at a moment’s notice to help open a pesky can of Diet Sierra Mist.

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To Arthur, With Love, Stanley

Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick on the set of 2001: A Space OdysseyMy favorite movie, and the greatest movie ever made, is Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. 1Which, for any Angelenos reading, will be shown in its original Cinerama format Friday 9/28 at the Arclight Hollywood dome, where the movie made its LA premiere in 1968. Unlike other “greatest movies ever made” which I either pretend I’ve seen or saw once and pretend I enjoyed, 2001 I watch every time it pops up on TV. 2Aficionados beware! Occasionally TCM or other networks will air the film in “HD,” though it’s usually just an up-sampled version of the standard def transfer that’s like watching someone fart into a slide projector. Years ago I even attempted a letterboxed VHS copy on an old 13″ K-Mart CRT, which based on the film’s original 2.65:1 aspect ratio I calculate produced an image slightly wider than a schnauzer penis. (I forced this viewing upon the woman who would nevertheless later agree to marry me, and during the opening credits she said, “Wait — this is in color?” She had a black-and-white TV most of her life and had endured the entire movie in shades of gray, including the Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite sequence, which is nothing but flowing strips of color that try the patience of even the most thoroughly baked.)

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1. Which, for any Angelenos reading, will be shown in its original Cinerama format Friday 9/28 at the Arclight Hollywood dome, where the movie made its LA premiere in 1968.
2. Aficionados beware! Occasionally TCM or other networks will air the film in “HD,” though it’s usually just an up-sampled version of the standard def transfer that’s like watching someone fart into a slide projector.

What We Don’t Know About Food is Killing Our Kids

School nachos and unidentified nuggets, courtesy of http://assfacemclegs0.blogspot.com
School nachos and unidentified nuggets, courtesy of http://assfacemclegs0.blogspot.com

 

I just finished listening to today’s Morning Edition story “What’s Inside the 26-ingredient School Lunch Burger?” about the movement among parents to rid school cafeterias of processed food. The nonsense geysering forth from the people on both sides of the issue made me so indignant that I spoke the word “dipshit” aloud multiple times in my shower before 9am, then dropped everything else I had to do this morning (i.e. repeatedly clicking the Get Mail button until I’m employed) to immediately write a rebuttal.

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Cat Killing

I wish this video from education broker Skillshare didn’t play like a bad commercial for an investment-management firm, because its message about the value of curiosity deserves to be heard.

A Mind Rebelling at Stagnation

Teen SleuthI don’t usually talk about other blogs, because blogs are shitty. (If you need proof, just click here.) Nevertheless there are a few that I read regularly. Of those, the only one that I actually look forward to is Kara Vallow’s Teen Sleuth. Kara posted something yesterday so unquestionably good, in all definitions of the word, that it needs to be shared.

Kara mostly blogs about politics, and she attacks the far right the way a Komodo dragon bites a goat — chomping with a stripping bile that irreversibly seeps in and festers over time until the victim finally dies from the inside. (That’s a good thing.) She also writes about art, baseball, family, horses, and other stuff, always with unrelenting intelligence and (to a writer) infuriating clarity. But I like it the best when Kara writes about books, which she does on her sub-blog, The Haunted Library. That brings me to four sentences she posted yesterday:

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