Seth Madej » food

Long Live NotFoolingAnybody.com

Seth — Thu, 03 May 2012 23:42:30 +0000

While I was out today not driving seven miles specifically to pile down 2400 calories of Crunchwrap Supremes, I stumbled upon an excellent NotFoolingAnybody.com candidate. Below on the left, 63-year-old California donut chain Winchell’s Donut House. On the right, Michelle’s Donut House on Santa Monica Blvd. and Heliotrope Dr. in Los Angeles.

My joy at this discovery was quickly tempered when I discovered that NotFoolingAnybody.com is tragically defunct.

A classic among novelty web sites, NotFoolingAnybody.com collected photos of businesses a) poorly hiding the fact that they were once other businesses, e.g. a dentist’s office shaped like a Pizza Hut, or b) sadly trying to capitalize on the fact that they might be/have been other businesses, e.g.

What We Don’t Know About Food is Killing Our Kids

Seth — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 20:18:35 +0000

I just finished listening to today’s Morning Edition story “What’s Inside the 26-ingredient School Lunch Burger?” about the movement among parents to rid school cafeterias of processed food. The nonsense geysering forth from the people on both sides of the issue made me so indignant that I spoke the word “dipshit” aloud multiple times in my shower before 9am, then dropped everything else I had to do this morning (i.e. repeatedly clicking the Get Mail button until I’m employed) to immediately write a rebuttal.

Before I start, I should say that on the school lunch issue I fall closer to the point of view of Real Food for Kids, the aforementioned processed-food bashers, but I don’t fully side with them.

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 17

Seth — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:57:30 +0000

I come from Pittsburgh, where our favorite style of food is A Thing With French Fries on It.

A sandwich with french fries on it has, outside of Pittsburgh, become known as a “Pittsburgh sandwich.”1 Within Pittsburgh, a “Pittsburgh salad” is a salad covered in french fries and most of a cow.

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 16

Seth — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:57:01 +0000

Looking at Brodie Hubbard there, obviously the first thought that comes to mind is, “I’d like to know the history of that beard.” Luckily, at my urging, Brodie has told it. Now let’s move on to other things.

Brodie’s a vegan, so he suggested we meet at animal-byproductless hotspot Flore in Silver Lake. Flore specializes in meatless versions of popular non-vegetarian dishes: reubens, tacos, veggie burgers, etc. served by Fred Armisen rehearsing a character for Portlandia. My experience has been that that style of vegan cooking — with stuff like tempeh bacon and seitan pork — rarely works out well and results in a disappointing ersatz mess when the chef could’ve better spent his time making something distinctly vegetarian and enjoyable.

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 15

Seth — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 19:58:31 +0000

My favorite fast-food burger joint, mid-Atlantic staple Five Guys Burgers and Fries, recently started a massive push into southern California, to the great joy of certain parts of my body and the great dismay of other parts. I try not to get in the middle of those internal disputes. I figure they’ll sort it out between themselves. But I’ve noticed two things since Five Guys came to LA: 1) they’re perfectly thrilled to have doubled their prices, and 2) In-N-Out Burger devotees, who are legion, find Five Guys perplexing and seem vaguely offended by the whole thing.

My fellow lunchee, comedian Barbara Gray, is just such a devotee, but she admirably suggested we give Five Guys’ new Miracle Mile location a shot.

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 14

Seth — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:46:05 +0000

The first #SethBuyMeLunch lunch in many weeks burst forth through a hail of prawns and mashed potatoes in Culver City yesterday, when Liezl Estipona and I had a much delayed meal after I canceled on her due to illness a couple of weeks ago. I expected to never hear from her again, but she got back in touch because, as she said, “[I simply couldn't wait any longer to meet you, and] I was hungry.”

We met in front of Honey’s Kettle Fried Chicken but eventually opted instead for the slightly less-kettle-fried selection at nearby Tender Greens, an interesting gourmet lunch counter.

Chicken McNuggets are Holocaust Deniers! BOYCOTT CHICKEN MCNUGGETS!

Seth — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:24:00 +0000

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 13

Seth — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:05:58 +0000

I met writer-producer-director-actor-comedian-queef-joke-enthusiast Ann Marie Lindbloom for lunch at Simple Things Restaurant, a sandwich and pie place on West 3rd, where she ate half a turkey-and-avocado sandwich and took the rest home. I promptly insisted she reimburse me for the uneaten portion, because page 53 #SethBuyMeLunch contract clearly states that the complimentary lunch includes only food eaten during the course of the meal. She kicked me in the eyes and ran off. Luckily I still had time to enjoy my reuben,1 which was of high quality, if a little overpriced, with thick, tender corned beef.

Stuff I Like: The Marisol

Seth — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:55:00 +0000

NOTE: For the holidays I’m sharing a few of my favorite things that might not be familiar to you, thereby bringing peace on earth and goodwill toward man and single-handedly solving all of the world’s problems forever. You can see the other stuff I like by clicking here.

Despite James Bond’s myriad horrible characteristics and the many equally horrible movies made about him, I’ve been something of a Bond enthusiast most of my life. I even think I still have, somewhere in a storage locker in Pittsburgh, a complete set of the Victory Games, Inc. 007 role playing games.

#SethBuyMeLunch Lunch No. 12

Seth — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:19:01 +0000

When you’re still using a three-year-old iPhone 3G, the Maps app takes 35 minutes to start up. Which means that by the time you admit that you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going to be at least 35 minutes more lost. And so after several U-turns on Venice Blvd. and captivating tours of the side streets of Culver City, I parked near a lot full of beatdown Alfa Romeo Spiders1 at the Omega Motorsports garage and arrived at Villa Tacos quite a bit late to find Brian Morrison deep into free chips and salsa.