Sunday night in my house is reserved for viewing of cooking competition, cute animal, or kooky-vet shows. Last night's feature was the "celebrity" portion of Chopped's Ultimate Champions Tournament, which included Carnie Wilson trying to win money for her chosen "charity," the Weight Loss Surgery Foundation of America. Thing is that by promoting the WLSFA, she's shilling for a twisted corporate scheme designed to take money from the ill and desperate.
Carnie Wilson, for those lucky enough not to know, is the daughter of Beach Boys founder Brian Wilson and former member of the hell-shat vocal band Wilson Phillips, whose video for their 1990 emetic hit single "Hold On" I was subjected to endlessly by my niece during babysitting sessions. After Wilson Phillips broke up in '93 under threat of invasion from extra-terrestrials who'd intercepted radio broadcasts of "Impulsive," Carnie went on to pioneer the field of modern trash celebrity.
She began avoiding real work with her extremely short-lived mid-90s tabloid talk show Carnie!, the exclamation point of which plead guilty to 26 misdemeanor counts of creating a public nuisance and was last seen sleeping outside the Santa Monica Blvd. impound lot. Carnie then spent a decade appearing on select TV show, her selection criteria being that no mentally functioning human had any interest in watching them. She hostined a revived version of The Newlywed Game, judged Karaoke Battle USA, and appeared on oodles of reality shows from Celebrity Wife Swap to the no-I-swear-it's-real Celebracadabra, on which she lost the title of Greatest Celebrity Magician to blackface performer C. Thomas Howell.