It was a very poor fundraising weekend for Special Relativity, with only $5 raised, putting us two hundred dollars behind the target amount for today. That’s led me to take extreme measures. I’m now attempting to increase the pace of donations by harnessing the power of the very fabric of the Universe!

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Allow me to present a new campaign perk: the Special Relativity Fundamental Force Manipulator. For a ridiculously small donation of $15, you’ll receive this remarkable science-powered device which, though it sits comfortably in the palm of your hand, allows you to wield one of the four fundamental interactive forces of the Universe. Relish your dominance over the very sub-atomic particles that make up all matter in creation as you use the Special Relativity Fundamental Force Manipulator to control the electromagnetic force, allowing you to permanently attach it to the front of your refrigerator without the aid of adhesives or fasteners.

Donate $15 to get yours now. Please, use it wisely.