The Battle of the Seths: Final Four

The Battle of the Seths: The Final FourThe round of 16 and quarterfinals of the cataclysmic Battle of the Seths have left standing the least likely clutch of Seths to emerge from the smoke and blood. Heavyweights like Seth MacFarlane and Seth Meyers have fallen to four guys you’ve never heard of, myself included.

The Seths in the semifinals, as in previous rounds, are facing off in multiple Tests of Sethness. Pick your winners, submit your bracket, then do it again for as many as the 101 Tests of Sethness as you want. The two Seths that win the most face-offs before August 3 will duel in the final for Ruler of all Sethness.

Vote as many times as you want and share the battle with friends.

Click here to vote now →

Meet the Guy Riding 10,000 Miles to Save the Lives of Veterans

22 American military veterans die by suicide every day. That’s the statistic that got John Veon onto his bike.

A vet himself, of the 82nd Airborne in the first Gulf War, John came out of the army still a kid and developed into one of the most thoughtful and earnest people I know. I met him maybe eight years ago when we were both working at Nickelodeon. In an office full of know-it-alls (myself included) John was the one guy you could pose a question to and be answered with silence, because he was genuinely thinking about what you asked. He also had tattoo sleeves and a rocket-tail goatee and, when he wasn’t between a pair of headphones pumping out sludge metal, he’d come into my office to talk about how to find satisfaction in life.

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Who is a Real-Life Bond Villain?

Today, possibly motivated by the new trailer for SPECTRE, a pal of mine asked on Facebook, “What living people are closest to being actual, real life Bond villains?” Knowing my affinity for 007, he singled me out for an answer. What follows is an expanded version of the comment I left.

A couple of early responders to his question named Dick Cheney, who at first glance seems like a good bet. He’s certainly a villain, likely psychopathic, and hideously deformed. But Cheney fails the crucial test of persona: a Bond villain must either be unknown to the general public–like Dr. No, Francisco Scaramanga, or Blofeld–or must be known to the general public but no one suspects to be villainous–like Hugo Drax, Elliot Carver, or Max Zorin. 1A commenter suggested a third type, that of the person that everyone knows is a villain but no one can stop. He for that reason nominated Vladimir Putin, an interesting choice, especially since Vlad is unnervingly similar to General Orlov from Octopussy, who conceives a knotty scheme to bring glory to the Soviet Union by planting a nuke in a circus cannon, a plan which one imagines were it pitched to Putin he’d shrug and say, “Worth a try.” But I can’t think of an actual Bond enemy in the books or movies that fits that described persona. It better describes a Batman villain. Cheney’s too obviously evil to qualify.

So then who is it? →

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1. A commenter suggested a third type, that of the person that everyone knows is a villain but no one can stop. He for that reason nominated Vladimir Putin, an interesting choice, especially since Vlad is unnervingly similar to General Orlov from Octopussy, who conceives a knotty scheme to bring glory to the Soviet Union by planting a nuke in a circus cannon, a plan which one imagines were it pitched to Putin he’d shrug and say, “Worth a try.” But I can’t think of an actual Bond enemy in the books or movies that fits that described persona. It better describes a Batman villain.
The Phoneix Must Burn to Emerge

After this morning’s Emmy nominations were announced without a mention of Alex Borstein’s name, I cremated my hospital gown in a small, private ceremony. I laid the ashes to rest on Alex’s porch in a tasteful sarcophagus.

#TastefulSarcophagus

A day of silent prayer, nonetheless lifted by the nomination of Niecy Nash for outstanding supporting actress as nurse Didi Ortley in Getting On.

The Battle of the Seths: Quarterfinals

The Battle of the Seths: QuartefinalsWith over 4000 votes cast, the first round of the historic Battle of the Seths has ended. The victories include some surprising upsets, not the least of which Seth Rogen being trounced by a fictional cosmic entity.

Now we move on to the quarterfinals. As with the last round, the remaining Seths are facing off in Tests of Sethness. Pick your winners, submit your bracket, then do it again for as many as the 101 Tests of Sethness as you want. The four Seths that win the most face-offs before July 20 will move on the the semifinals.

Vote as many times as you want and share the battle with friends.

Click here to vote now →

Get Your Special Relativity T-Shirt Now

Special Relativity T-ShirtPerfect for your favorite two-armed, one-necked creature, this 100% cotton, tagless T-shirt features the Special Relativity logo and the show’s mascot, the Chrono-weed, on teal blue. It can be yours for $50. All proceeds go toward a full season of Special Relativity, my radio comedy starring Alex Borstein, Dee Bradley Baker, James Urbaniak, and Ted Travelstead. Click here to get yours now.

The first episode of Special Relativity is available at SpecialRelativityRadio.com or on iTunes.